i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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