the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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