The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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