How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
