Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
