we have pet lesbian snakes
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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