the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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