wakey wakey hands off snakey
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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