What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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