I just saw a hot homeless man
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
