Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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