im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
