I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
