His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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