i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
