I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
