he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
