Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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