I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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