I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
