Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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