What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
