we're blogging at a bar
I skipped work to stalk him.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Randomize
