Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
