How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
