I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize