problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
