So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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