How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
