Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I am puke
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
