Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize