Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
