I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Randomize
