can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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