No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
