Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
