he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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