I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
