Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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