Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
