I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
