just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
