You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
