no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
