I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No more Irish car bombs ever.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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