that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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