in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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