hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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