hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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