Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

Whatcha textin bout Willis?

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(602): View more from Arizona

I bet i've been more pregnant than you.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night

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(312): View more from Illinois

She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere

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(612): View more from Minnesota

That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up

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