I'm gonna have a badass scar
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
