I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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