I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
