Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
