Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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