just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
