Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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