Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
