Umm I'm too high to move.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
