Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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