ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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