So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
