the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
