yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
