They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
