Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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