Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just found a bag of teeth...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
